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The Ironies of Christmas

Posted by dsmith on December 21, 2010

So, finals are over, thankfully!  Though I am sure some of you wish you could start last week all over as well.  Now that you are home and fully engaged in the rituals of the season, I hope that in the next week you will take some time away from family and shopping to contemplate the magnitude of the day that you will celebrate soon.   Here are some quick thoughts to propel you in some reflection.

The Spiritual world is just as real as the Physical world.  We can’t see it as readily so we have a hard time fathoming the reality.  It is just as ‘real’ though. It is just that we are trained to think of ‘reality’ as that which we can see with our eyes, taste with our mouth, touch with our hands.

At the crucifixion was a tremendous display of the collision between the reality of the Physical and the Spiritual for all to see.  Matthew says that from the sixth hour till the ninth hour, 12 p.m. till 3 p.m. there was darkness that covered the land.  Then he says that the earth shook and rocks were split!  Can you imagine being there?  The moment that Jesus breathes his last, immediately, darkness, earthquakes and rocks shattering!  We would have been terrified.  So think about the Irony; Radical confusion and fear at an event that would prove to lead to more clarity and peace that the world has ever known.  The death of Jesus was a cataclysmic event that overshadows almost every other event in all of history. I think that one reason the Father made these things happen is to show the magnitude of what what happening on the Spiritual plane that might be missed by our naturalistic minds and hearts.   The Father let us peak behind the curtain that sometimes clouds our vision to Spiritual reality. He often uses physical reality to help us fathom spiritual reality…. But rewind 33 years for a minute to the day that we celebrate in less than a week.

I said the the crucifixion was ‘one’ of the most cataclysmic events in all of history.  Surely Christmas day had to be one of the others.  Again, a situation filled with irony and illumination of the spiritual realities.  Imagine being a shepherd watching your flock as you had done every night for years and years.  As a guardian of flocks by night, you would have known the configuration of the stars like the back of your hand.  You would have been a person well acquainted with the wonders of the natural world.  But that night, a new star shows itself to your great disbelief.  It was a natural event of such great mystery that it screamed out an opening of the curtain that hides the supernatural.  As if that hadn’t made enough impact, then a host of angels appears to them singing songs of praise to God!  Wonder of wonders happened before these poor shepherds eyes.  The fear, the reality, the intrigue. So they followed as the star moved across the sky.  Ironically, they left their flocks which were their life and livelihood and followed a mysterious star that was a sign of something greater than they had ever seen.

As they approached Bethlehem scene only grew more astounding.  The star rested over a stable in Bethlehem, the ancient city of King David.  Here the ironies would grow palpable.

-Born to a virgin in the midst of the Scandal that that brought, was himself the definition of Holiness.

-Born into a stable of great Poverty was born the King of all Wealth.

-Born to the Finite was the author of the Infinite.

-Born into Humanity was the one true Deity.

-Born into a physical world held by Time was the Timeless one from eternity.

-Born into Frailty was the Rock of Consistency.

-Born into the condemnation of Life so that He would be free to Die

On that fateful day, the curtain was indeed pulled back.  The common worlds of reality were exposed in the beautiful paradoxes.  A Lamb was born to be slaughtered for the humanity that would soon reject the one that would not reject those that would sentence him to death….. all of us.

Do the ironies move you?  Does December 25th illuminate you?  Has jesus changed you?  They should, He wants to.

Celebrating the ironies of Christmas with you….  Miles

Where is Miles?

Posted by dsmith on April 6, 2010

I have not been around much since spring break some of you have noticed.   Alot has been going on with me and I thought I would give you a quick update.

This will be a bit weighty so beware!  8 years ago, life came crashing down for me while living in East Asia.  While living in a small apartment in the middle of the most populated country on earth, I did not know it at the time, but i started having panic attacks .  Life unraveled in fear, loneliness, despair and pain in such a horrific way that it is both hard to even remember and certainly hard to put into words.  Many of you have heard me tell the stories over the years so i won’t belabor you more now.

Over the ensuing 8 years, life hasn’t been perfect, but it has been manageable.  I have been on a medication for anxiety/depression that has helped for the most part.  Some of you that know me well know that still, every semester, there are several times when i get hit with some weird symptoms that i can only explain as extreme exhaustion, even flu-like, but they always coincide with some sort of major stress overload in my environment, heart and mind.  This past fall it got quite frequent.  Every 2 or 3 weeks i was sidelined in bed for 2-3 days feeling miserable, depressed and scared as to what was happening to me.  After some thinking, praying and getting some advice, i decided to stop the medication that i had been taking for 7 years…or at least slowly wean off.  (these things take time to get out of your system if you were not aware)  It took me about 3 months of slowly cutting dosages to be completely off.  They were three months of hell starting last October.  However, if those months were hell….then the 6 weeks that have ensued after being off the medication have been purgatory….(not sure about the analogy, but sufficed to say it has been even worse!)

At this point i have been diagnosed with something called ‘adrenaline fatigue’.  It seems that i have lived at such a high level of stress and performance for so long- all the things i do on campus, 3 kids, running marathons, being a constant thinker and ‘type A’ personality- and then getting off a major medication which stressed my body again….my body has essentially said “enough! you need to take a break and figure things out….and I am going to make you by making you feel so crappy you can’t do anything…. ” (if my body could talk….or more likely, that is what God has said to me).  Anyways, when your body runs on stress it produces adrenaline all the time.  Finally your adrenal system can get ‘maxed’ out and shut down and not provide the energy hormones that you need to live healthily….that is what has happened.  My blood pressure is way down, my testosterone level is 25% of what it should be, my core temperature is low, i have headaches every single day and i am fatigued all the time.

I need to make some changes!  Obviously.  And i am now doing so.  So back to me not being around….since spring break and for the rest of the current semester i am taking a leave of absence.  i have canceled most everything that i do with the intent of resting and getting to health.  I am seeing a counselor to help me understand more about the ways that i process stress.  I am on a ridiculously healthy diet.  I am taking mouth fulls of vitamins and supplements ever day.  I am sleeping, reading, fishing and getting massages every week!  Sounds like it is a more fun and enjoyable process than it is believe me!  The doctor says she will have me feeling normal again in within three months.  That has been a word of hope that i have needed in the midst of despair.  However, like i said, i need to make some changes.  She can get my body back on track, but it will all come crashing down again unless i head this great roadblock of God’s painful grace in my life.

Performance, size, impact, growth, big, powerful, fast- these are all words that consume me being in the forefront of my mind constantly in every area of my life. They are the first words i think about when it comes to my part in what i want to happen at UNC and in general in my life.  I have at times been intollerant and frustrated with the antithesis of those words.  Small, slow, weak, regression- those words and indeed personality types are a bane to me if i am honest.  And yet, that is where/who i find myself to be at present.  Helpless, slow, weak, small- would all characterize my present emotions and in many ways my present impact laying in bed at home.

I am being challenged in a book that i am presently reading called ‘Margins’.  Why is bigger better?  Why is faster more desirable?  Why is power better than weakness.  I have been honest with you over the years that in marriage those opposites between Emme and I have caused conflict.  I have tried to force her to settle more comfortably into my mold and do things faster, bigger, more powerfully….  She has not acquiesced and i am thankful to God for a model of one who is so different than me and has so much health in those differences!

Yes, progress is desirable at some level.  Reaching more students at UNC is better than less at some level.  But at what expense?  What are true signs of health and growth.  Just because a ministry is large or growing does not guarantee its ‘goodness’.  There are some very suspect large ministries in the world that are like i said ‘suspect’ at best and outright dangerous at worse.  So in our culture, why is big always better?  Why is powerful always promoted?  Why is up-front better than behind?

These are just questions that i find myself asking presently as i work through the 2nd hardest period of my life to date.  If you would commit to pray for me, i would be very grateful.  I am being taught by the Lord to be needy and not self-sufficient and asking for help is not easy for me.  Pray that God would give me deep rest of the soul.  I need  to find a deeper quiet place connected more healthily to him from which to live life, lead a ministry, love my family and be at peace.  Thanks for those of you that labored to read to the end.

blessings, miles

The Greatest Story Ever Told – Abraham

Posted by dsmith on January 6, 2010

I am sitting at a coffee shop….a regular occurrence…. studying for the current series of messages i am giving called ‘The Greatest Story Ever Told”- if you have not heard any of them, you can download on our podcast at: http://unccornerstone.mypodcast.com/index.html. That sounds self-gratifying to point you to messages that i have given, but i point you towards them because i have learned so much in preparation if nothing else.

I am presently reading about the life of Abraham as he will be the focus of the next message the first week of class.  I am reading and reflecting on the plan of God as history moves from Creation and Fall, now to the story of Redemption which begins immediately after the Fall as i have mentioned- we hide, God seeks is the story of the rest of the Bible!  I have to tell you that i am also listening to Cold Play and an interesting song came on as i was reading the book, ‘According to Plan’ by Graeme Goldsworthy.  It is hard not to be in a Melancholy mood listening to Cold Play of course and so i have to warn you that is where i am at.  In fact tears came to my eyes as i was reading about the great plan of God in Abraham’s life while listening to Chris Martin express the longings of life deeply felt.  Abraham points towards the one that will truly meet our greatest longings.  Yet the fact that the pursuit of our longings leads us away from ourselves and allows us to point to the one that is greater than us all the while freeing ourselves from they tyranny of self consumption!

Abraham was no one special.  His regular appearance in the Bible might lead us now to think that he was.  He had little to offer God.  In fact he messed it all up so many times.  Yet God brought him to the place where he trusted the plan of the Almighty in such heroic ways that he was ready to sacrifice his only son.  He had learned to live in obedience knowing that God had something great in store.  Again, while we might be tempted to proclaim Abraham’s greatness, it was not Abraham’s greatness, but God’s that lead him to this place.  It was a lonely place on a mountain side that served to unfold the ever expanding plan of God that would result in the glory and honor of His one son, Jesus himself!

The story of the Bible is truly the greatest story ever told.  It amazes me and leads me to worship and awe of the God who would reveal it to us in such a gracious and ever clearer way.  I promise you that if you see what God is doing, who God is, the story, Jesus Himself will change you as you are lead to worship.  As i write these thoughts i stand in awe of the task to help reveal the story to us that will indeed capture our hearts and minds.  But that thought brings me full circle.  It is God’s plan to reveal his glory and he will do it as He has been about doing since the creation of the world.  Who am i to think that i could hinder such progress.

Join us the rest of the year as we explore God’s revealing of Himself and pray for us as a movement that the story, the true story, would change us and cause us to be a blessing to the campus and the world.

Why Not to Get Involved

Posted by dsmith on September 9, 2009

So, hope all those of you new to UNC have had a good first several weeks on campus.  It can be an overwhelming time i know; trying to figure out class schedules, social calendars, all the sylabi, you can’t even understand your stats prof! It can be an exciting time, tiring time, energizing  and a lonely time all in the same day.  I hope that you have found Cornerstone a place where you can start to let down a bit and see a glimmer of hope of finding some people that you can be real with, grow with and perhaps share life with for years to come.  I have enjoyed meeting many of you and look forward to knowing many more of you on a personal level.

All that being said, i have a couple warnings for you about Cornerstone that i want to be honest with you about.

First- if you are expecting to find in us a perfect Christian group and will be disappointed some day if you find that we are not, then honestly, you might need to find another group.  We will fail you. I will fail you.  I will say something upfront that you do not like and perhaps we will not embrace you the way that you would deem perfect.  The staff and student leaders want so much for your best and to be a part of your growth both now and for a lifetime please know that from the start.  But every year, quite honestly, we find that we have failed someone or several people.  We are striving for our own growth and maturity and will continue to do so, but we will not be perfect so i warn you now.

Second- If you are one of the many people that has an idea that you are superior to the rest of the ‘lost’ campus because you have found ‘the truth’, then i would politely ask you to reconsider what you believe or else encourage you to find another group.  I indeed believe that there is true truth to be found and that I/we have arrived at some. However at the same time, i realize that i could never have found it without the incredible grace of one who would reveal it to me.  So instead of me finding it, He found me!  This roots out all superiority and self-righteousness and leaves me as a humble, broken, rescued person in constant need of God’s recurring grace.  The world has seen enough self-righteous hypocrites who look down on everyone who doesn’t have the same beliefs.  We want to be a group that holds fast to truth of the Gospel as revealed in the Bible as the one truth that will save us.  But the truth is embodied in a person, Christ and instead of puffing ourselves up with our superior knowledge, I believe he would have us pour ourselves out just as He did on the cross.  That is what i invite you to participate in with us….or else, i can give your name to some other groups who might want you….(i am not really a jerk, but honestly i am so tired of the above attitude that i am saying this pretty harshly)

Thirdly- We want people that are ready to be honest.  We want people that are ready to go deeper.  We want people who want more.  We want people that are tired of repeating the same answers that you don’t really believe. If that is what you want, then join us….again, if not…well i already said it.

I look forward to journeying with many of you along a section of your journeys.  It would probably blow you away if you could know now what is in store for you this next four years.  High times, low times, deep times and hopefully lots of laughter.  From the staff team of Cornerstone, know that we are praying for you and are asking God to do deep and rich things in your life that lead to peace and joy.  -Miles